Rituals and Sabbaths for Large Family Life

We all have family rituals, whether we realise that is what they are or not. In a larger family these rituals start to take on a life of their own, becoming a sort of adhesive that binds the family together. They might take a little bit of effort to set up, but if the fit is right, I reckon they become the things kids grow up and remember as part of themselves, helping them feel they belong. They communicate a sense of collective belonging that is one of the key ingredients to intrinsic wellbeing.

April 13, 2020 2

My new normal: reducing decision fatigue with four kids and fulltime work

I used to think routines are unnecessary. Now I can't live without them!

August 10, 2019 4

Care-Work on Fieldwork

Reblogging from 2015: Every time I publish an article based on my personal PhD experiences with fieldwork, I tell myself it will be the last. So far, I have four. Just last year, I was part of an awesome team and put out this one: Farrelly, T., Stewart-Withers, R., & Dombroski, K. (2014). ‘BEING THERE’:... Continue Reading →

June 24, 2019 6

Making my own life-work manifesto

Lately I have been feeling very disillusioned with the academic life. I mean, I've always intellectually known that our reach is often short, our work ignored and overlooked, and our lifestyles completely overrun by our work. But recently, I have been feeling it more, and feeling more dissatisfied about it. Then a few things happened... Continue Reading →

May 31, 2019 0

The work of “Life Admin”

I recently read Elizabeth Emen's 2019 book The Art of Life Admin. Well, perhaps inhaled is a better verb to describe what I did with it. I got it out of the public library on OverDrive and read it while travelling with my four kids and husband during the Easter school holidays. This travel to... Continue Reading →

May 14, 2019 3

Academic Maternity Leave : The shame game

It is a milestone week. My baby is now past the six week mark. We saw our wonderful wise midwife for the last time professionally and were transferred into the care of our medical centre. I took my son for his vaccinations, somewhat more anxiously than with my older three: a Facebook friend had called... Continue Reading →

February 23, 2019 1

Blogging by phone

So Boochani wrote his award winning book on WhatsApp. And I have been blogging so irregularly: firstly because I have way too many writing deadlines and even when I have wanted to blog, I worry what people expecting writing from me will think if I am wasting time blogging! But the other reason that writing... Continue Reading →

February 2, 2019 0

Three Words 2018: Less, Dwell, Write

In the last few years I have been choosing some focus words for each year, rather than a New Year's Resolution. In 2018, after reflecting on the words and things I learned in 2017, I decided on the word 'less', 'dwell' and 'write'. Of all the years I've been doing this, it feels like this... Continue Reading →

January 8, 2019 2

The Invisible Gender of Deep Work

A book review of Cal Newport's Deep Work: Rules for Focused Success in a Distracted World, 2016, London: Little Brown. It's no secret that many of us find it difficult to find space to do the deep thinking that we need to push forward our work -- our paid work, but also our self-work, or... Continue Reading →

April 1, 2018 17

On (the impossibility of?) settling down

It seems to be thing. Couples who fall in love with each other, commit to a shared life together, then at some point discover their idea of home is -- well, if not incompatible then with a pretty darn small overlap. I don't mean here in terms of tidiness and mess (although, sure, that is... Continue Reading →

July 15, 2017 0

Completion: On getting stuff done

Every year, I choose three words and write them on a post-it note above my desk. They help me guide my decision-making for the year in a more intentional way. In 2016 one of my words was Complete. I actually chose that word based on my desire to finish a whole lot of work related... Continue Reading →

January 17, 2017 3

Connect: On Making Grown-Up Friends.

Every year I choose three words, put them on a post note above my desk, and use them to help me prioritise my day-to-day decision-making. In 2016, one of those words was Connect. We've had to move a lot in the last ten years, and we've lived in 3 different countries, 5 cities, in 8... Continue Reading →

January 10, 2017 2

A Just City: Book Review

I had a quiet weekend not feeling well a few weeks ago, so I decided to binge read Jo Walton's A Just City, chosen for me by my husband and daughter on their weekly library visit. My daughter wanted to read it immediately, after looking at the first few pages and realising it was a... Continue Reading →

November 26, 2016 0

What I learned about emailing students… from my two-year-old.

I recently posted about writing emails to lecturers in New Zealand universities. I made some suggestions for appropriate email etiquette in NZ based on deconstructing a few representative emails and my own personal preferences. The flipside of the story is of course lecturers who email students in anger, frustration, annoyance and with little sensitivity to... Continue Reading →

March 22, 2016 2

Domestic Activists?

Women still do the majority of household caring labour. But not only this, women's caring labour has expanded to include care not just for families and their needs but also for the environment and sustainability. Some studies frame this as a form of inequality, another example of how the 'dirty work' of society gets lumped... Continue Reading →

January 27, 2016 3

Update: Getting Kids to Do Stuff

So most of you have probably worked this out well before me, but once your kids can read LISTS ARE AWESOME. My blogposts this time last year were about the emotional labour of managing a family and resentment at having to make sure everything that needed to be done got done. And the nagging. I... Continue Reading →

January 14, 2016 2

‘Potty Pauses’

I normally avoid talking about toilet-training and elimination communication on my blog -- not because it is not interesting and worthwhile, but because it has become so much part of our everyday lives that I don't even think about it much any more. Until it all grinds to a halt, that is. We have practiced... Continue Reading →

January 11, 2016 1

Enacting a postcapitalist politics

So it has been quite a long time since I blogged -- mostly because the second half of 2015 was taken up with intense teaching and a return to fulltime work. Ironically, a lot of my research work is about how the home and domestic spaces are sites of enacting postcapitalist politics for different kinds... Continue Reading →

January 7, 2016 0

Insecurities as a mum-employee

http://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2014/07/14/330434597/this-is-your-stressed-out-brain-on-scarcity

Today I had a major work-fail moment. I was organising honours students presentations, and had already underorganised that normally-well-attended event. It was first thing in the morning following a public holiday (Queens Birthday), and I was incredibly late and missed the first two presentations despite being the person who was supposed to be hosting it.... Continue Reading →

June 2, 2015 5

Academic mothering: reflections from guest blogger Dr Ann Hill

My friend and colleague Ann Hill has contributed a blog post for me today, inspired by the conversations we have had about managing our academic and mothering practices. Dr Ann Hill is a member of the Community Economies Collective, and has conducted research on food economies in the Phillipines. She is currently working on a... Continue Reading →

April 22, 2015 1

Update on Sleep Deprivation, or, Magnesium, where have you been all my mothering life?

Last week I was chronically sleep deprived, and even when my son was managing to sleep at night, I was often lying awake thinking about work and relationships. This has been an issue for me at stressful times during my PhD and my academic career, and especially when each of my children are between 1... Continue Reading →

April 13, 2015 5

Mums and sleep deprivation

So, I am really tired. I am also coming down with something, or just struggling against a low-grade cold. My son is sleeping better this week, but even when he is asleep, I wake up after four hours or so. After all, that's how much sleep I have been accustomed to getting in the last... Continue Reading →

April 7, 2015 3

Frocks on Bikes

I am a frock cyclist. If I have to get changed to use my bike, I am unlikely to bother. I am actually more likely to cycle when I am dressed up, because I can wear heels and not have to walk far to the door of my office! Also, the cool breeze created by... Continue Reading →

March 4, 2015 1

Small victory for breastfeeding on campus

Last year I bought a semester parking ticket because, even though I bike or walk in each day, my husband parks near my building and brings the baby up for a feed every day. This year, I was thinking about how much this cost us and how it was not really feasible for my husband... Continue Reading →

February 4, 2015 1

Gender, Personality, and Social change

I have recently been reading David Keirsey's book Please Understand Me II, having read Please Understand Me in the first edition many years ago. He uses the Myer-Briggs personality categories to describe four basic temperaments and 16 role variants. His main point is that much of our differences in communication and the way we interact... Continue Reading →

January 27, 2015 1

Breastfeeding and academic travel

So, I have been the primary income earner in all my 14 years of marriage. And in that time, I have had three children. I breastfed my first two for around two years each, and plan to do the same for my youngest. But my work requires travel. When I say 'require', I wouldn't lose... Continue Reading →

January 21, 2015 6

Holiday Homeschooling

In a previous post about the parallels between education and maternity care I argued that although public health and public education are extremely important for equity reasons, informed homebirthing and homeschooling are probably the gold standard for maternity care and education respectively. After reading an article on 'short-term homeschooling' I wondered about short-term homeschooling for... Continue Reading →

January 5, 2015 0

Emotional Labour: An update

In the previous posts 'Wife of a Stay-at-Home Husband' and 'How to get children to help around the house' I began to think about shifting out of the role of 'Household Organiser' that I seem to have acquired over the years. One of the commitments I made while writing the Wife of a Stay-at-Home Husband... Continue Reading →

January 5, 2015 1

Education and Maternity Care: Public, Home or Private?

I have long been aware of the statistics that place planned homebirth on a par with public hospital births in terms of best outcomes for mothers and babies. For just as long, I have been aware that births in private hospitals have the worst outcomes generally. This did not really surprise me when I discovered... Continue Reading →

September 15, 2014 2

Wife of a stay-at-home husband

There seems to be a misconception out there that having a stay at home husband is some kind of pinnacle of feminist achievement. You go out, focus on your rewarding job, come home to slippers warmed, the paper and a brandy while your hubby gets dinner ready and bathes the kids. I don't want to... Continue Reading →

September 1, 2014 7

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