Throwntogetherness

or, the juxtaposition of previously unrelated trajectories

Rituals and Sabbaths for Large Family Life

We all have family rituals, whether we realise that is what they are or not. In a larger family these rituals start to take on a life of their own, becoming a sort of adhesive that binds the family together. They might take a little bit of effort to set up, but if the fit is right, I reckon they become the things kids grow up and remember as part of themselves, helping them feel they belong. They communicate a sense of collective belonging that is one of the key ingredients to intrinsic wellbeing.

April 13, 2020 · 2 Comments

My new normal: reducing decision fatigue with four kids and fulltime work

I used to think routines are unnecessary. Now I can’t live without them!

August 10, 2019 · 2 Comments

Care-Work on Fieldwork

Reblogging from 2015: Every time I publish an article based on my personal PhD experiences with fieldwork, I tell myself it will be the last. So far, I have four. … Continue reading

June 24, 2019 · 6 Comments

Making my own life-work manifesto

Lately I have been feeling very disillusioned with the academic life. I mean, I’ve always intellectually known that our reach is often short, our work ignored and overlooked, and our … Continue reading

May 31, 2019 · Leave a comment

The work of “Life Admin”

I recently read Elizabeth Emen’s 2019 book The Art of Life Admin. Well, perhaps inhaled is a better verb to describe what I did with it. I got it out … Continue reading

May 14, 2019 · 1 Comment

Academic Maternity Leave : The shame game

It is a milestone week. My baby is now past the six week mark. We saw our wonderful wise midwife for the last time professionally and were transferred into the … Continue reading

February 23, 2019 · 1 Comment

Blogging by phone

So Boochani wrote his award winning book on WhatsApp. And I have been blogging so irregularly: firstly because I have way too many writing deadlines and even when I have … Continue reading

February 2, 2019 · Leave a comment

Three Words 2018: Less, Dwell, Write

In the last few years I have been choosing some focus words for each year, rather than a New Year’s Resolution. In 2018, after reflecting on the words and things … Continue reading

January 8, 2019 · 2 Comments

The Invisible Gender of Deep Work

A book review of Cal Newport’s Deep Work: Rules for Focused Success in a Distracted World, 2016, London: Little Brown. It’s no secret that many of us find it difficult … Continue reading

April 1, 2018 · 16 Comments

On (the impossibility of?) settling down

It seems to be thing. Couples who fall in love with each other, commit to a shared life together, then at some point discover their idea of home is — … Continue reading

July 15, 2017 · Leave a comment

Completion: On getting stuff done

Every year, I choose three words and write them on a post-it note above my desk. They help me guide my decision-making for the year in a more intentional way. … Continue reading

January 17, 2017 · 3 Comments

Connect: On Making Grown-Up Friends.

Every year I choose three words, put them on a post note above my desk, and use them to help me prioritise my day-to-day decision-making. In 2016, one of those … Continue reading

January 10, 2017 · 2 Comments

A Just City: Book Review

I had a quiet weekend not feeling well a few weeks ago, so I decided to binge read Jo Walton’s A Just City, chosen for me by my husband and … Continue reading

November 26, 2016 · Leave a comment

What I learned about emailing students… from my two-year-old.

I recently posted about writing emails to lecturers in New Zealand universities. I made some suggestions for appropriate email etiquette in NZ based on deconstructing a few representative emails and … Continue reading

March 22, 2016 · 2 Comments

Domestic Activists?

Women still do the majority of household caring labour. But not only this, women’s caring labour has expanded to include care not just for families and their needs but also … Continue reading

January 27, 2016 · 3 Comments

Update: Getting Kids to Do Stuff

So most of you have probably worked this out well before me, but once your kids can read LISTS ARE AWESOME. My blogposts this time last year were about the … Continue reading

January 14, 2016 · 2 Comments

‘Potty Pauses’

I normally avoid talking about toilet-training and elimination communication on my blog — not because it is not interesting and worthwhile, but because it has become so much part of … Continue reading

January 11, 2016 · 1 Comment

Enacting a postcapitalist politics

So it has been quite a long time since I blogged — mostly because the second half of 2015 was taken up with intense teaching and a return to fulltime … Continue reading

January 7, 2016 · Leave a comment

Insecurities as a mum-employee

Today I had a major work-fail moment. I was organising honours students presentations, and had already underorganised that normally-well-attended event. It was first thing in the morning following a public … Continue reading

June 2, 2015 · 5 Comments

Academic mothering: reflections from guest blogger Dr Ann Hill

My friend and colleague Ann Hill has contributed a blog post for me today, inspired by the conversations we have had about managing our academic and mothering practices. Dr Ann … Continue reading

April 22, 2015 · 1 Comment

Update on Sleep Deprivation, or, Magnesium, where have you been all my mothering life?

Last week I was chronically sleep deprived, and even when my son was managing to sleep at night, I was often lying awake thinking about work and relationships. This has … Continue reading

April 13, 2015 · 5 Comments

Mums and sleep deprivation

So, I am really tired. I am also coming down with something, or just struggling against a low-grade cold. My son is sleeping better this week, but even when he … Continue reading

April 7, 2015 · 3 Comments

Frocks on Bikes

I am a frock cyclist. If I have to get changed to use my bike, I am unlikely to bother. I am actually more likely to cycle when I am … Continue reading

March 4, 2015 · Leave a comment

Small victory for breastfeeding on campus

Last year I bought a semester parking ticket because, even though I bike or walk in each day, my husband parks near my building and brings the baby up for … Continue reading

February 4, 2015 · 1 Comment

Gender, Personality, and Social change

I have recently been reading David Keirsey‘s book Please Understand Me II, having read Please Understand Me in the first edition many years ago. He uses the Myer-Briggs personality categories … Continue reading

January 27, 2015 · 1 Comment

Breastfeeding and academic travel

So, I have been the primary income earner in all my 14 years of marriage. And in that time, I have had three children. I breastfed my first two for … Continue reading

January 21, 2015 · 6 Comments

Holiday Homeschooling

In a previous post about the parallels between education and maternity care¬† I argued that although public health and public education are extremely important for equity reasons, informed homebirthing and … Continue reading

January 5, 2015 · Leave a comment

Emotional Labour: An update

In the previous posts ‘Wife of a Stay-at-Home Husband’ and ‘How to get children to help around the house’¬† I began to think about shifting out of the role of … Continue reading

January 5, 2015 · 1 Comment

How to get children to help around the house.

The wonderful Avalon Darnesh shares her grounded and compassionate strategies for getting children to help around the house. I need to do this. Want more help around the home? In … Continue reading

September 28, 2014 · 1 Comment

Education and Maternity Care: Public, Home or Private?

I have long been aware of the statistics that place planned homebirth on a par with public hospital births in terms of best outcomes for mothers and babies. For just … Continue reading

September 15, 2014 · 2 Comments

Wife of a stay-at-home husband

There seems to be a misconception out there that having a stay at home husband is some kind of pinnacle of feminist achievement. You go out, focus on your rewarding … Continue reading

September 1, 2014 · 7 Comments